I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
