Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
The struggles of a small town man whore
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Randomize
