she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
