just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
Randomize
