We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
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