We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
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