Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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