Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
Randomize
