Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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