I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
I believe in your delicious
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Randomize
