Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
Randomize
