I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
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