Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
I wish you could order shots online.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
