so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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