i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
be right there i have to get my cape
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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