It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
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