Hey man sorry I got all grabby
I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
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