some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
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