Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
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