Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
Randomize
