i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
Randomize
