Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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