Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
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