U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
It's rum buckets o'clock
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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