it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
Randomize
