Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
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