i'm signing you up for texting rehab
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
Randomize
