I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
I touched a dick in church today
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
