Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Randomize
