the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Randomize
