Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
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