Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
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