its not stalking. its research.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize
