Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
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