just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
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