Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
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