But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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