I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
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