They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
Everyone says I win the strip club
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
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