Kiss
Puke
remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
