i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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