these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
