I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
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