i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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