I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Randomize