If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
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