I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
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