Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
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