The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
