All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Randomize
