Grow some girl-balls and come out already
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
