I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
