there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
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