There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Randomize