rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
