I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
